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I’m Not Interesting

Over the last couple of days I’ve had a bit of a problem. I see all of these influencers sharing their lives, sharing selfies, and writing posts about themselves.

Because I am an aspiring blogger/influencer, I find myself looking at content in a new light. Could I write a post like this? Would anybody care? I dont think I’m interesting enough. Could I take a selfie like this? I’d feel silly. I’m not pretty enough.

Now, I’m not trying to say I want to copy someone’s work, but there are some tried and true posts that I’m sure you’ve seen that I’ve thought for a moment about writing. Maybe it was a “what’s in my bag” post, or a “top ten things you didn’t know about me” list.

How I discovered this issue

I’m going to call this problem the “I’m not interesting” dilemma. For me, it has stemmed from being a shy teenager who didn’t really go out anywhere, and was constantly talked over.

It has bled into my conscience that nothing I have to say is interesting. Nothing about me is worth telling people about.

Now that I have a platform where I can talk and talk and talk all I want, I don’t even know how to say things.

To add onto this problem (and I know you’ve heard it a bajillion times) the very same influencers I’m looking at make me feel like my life isn’t cool enough. The girls on instagram who take cute selfies make me feel like I’m not beautiful enough. Media tells me I have to be more.

But you aren’t here so I can make you my therapist. Although if you have suggestions, hit me up.

What makes me an “average girl”

I know that other people don’t think I am (although my boyfriend is pretty biased) but this dilemma is so ingrained in me that it’s a hard thought pattern to break.

I have also come to the realization that the “I’m not interesting” dilemma is part of the reason why I believe I’m so average.

Speaking of breaking…

How do I break this pattern? Or, because this isn’t a therapy session, how do YOU break this thought pattern?

First off, I want to tell you that nobody thinks you’re as boring as you do.

Think of it this way. You’re married to someone for thirty five years. You know that person like the back of your hand. And sometimes conversation gets a little boring. There are no longer huge discoveries to make about that person.

Now, this isn’t a perfect analogy because you (hopefully) don’t tell them they aren’t interesting all of the time, and you love that person. In an ideal world, you’d love yourself and wouldn’t put yourself down either.

Unfortunately that’s not our reality.

But you have known you for as longer than that, and I’m sure sometimes the inner monologue gets boring. There’s rarely something new to discover about yourself.

If you’re like me and like to trash talk yourself like I do, maybe you start believing other people don’t think you’re as boring as you think you are.

So what should you do?

I’d start by doing that thing that you haven’t been doing. For me, it’s writing those posts that I think nobody would care about.

I’ll tell you what the heck is in my purse. My keys, cards, some receipts, my cool as ice sunglasses, a can of soup, and a brochure from freshii that I doodled on.

See? That wasn’t so bad. Do I feel like I’m a more interesting person? Not really, but it comes with practice.

What scares you? Are you afraid of going on a date because you don’t think anyone would find you interesting enough to talk to?Are you holding yourself back from a project because there’s no way someone like you could pull it off?

Do it. Work towards it.

You never know. Maybe it’ll be a hit, maybe it’ll be a miss. But there are a couple of benefits when you give it a try.

What are the benefits, then?

There are no “what ifs” anymore.

You stop dreaming about it.

Say that I wrote an actual post about what’s in my bag and no one read it, and the people that did didn’t like it. Great! Now I’m not sitting around wondering if I’m the sort of person who can make a post like that. Then I move on.

You become more interesting the more experiences you have.

At least if it doesn’t work out, you’ll have new knowledge under your belt and maybe a new story to tell.

All of your experiences make you into the person you are, so if you feel boring, go out and have more experiences! The worst that can happen is that you don’t like the thing you tried.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts!  I am always learning and growing, and I find talking things out with my friends or on my blog always helps me gain a better understanding of what I’m feeling.

Also, feel free to give this a share if you liked it. I appreciate it, and even if you don’t, thanks so much for reading!

December Goals

I’m sure by now you’ve figured out this is a goal-oriented blog. If not, then welcome! My about page is here. My hope is that I can help you out with whatever you’re striving towards, by helping myself achieve my goals.

In my post about achieving success when you feel like you have no time, I advise that you narrow down the things you’re working on.

That’s what I plan to do in today’s post.

If you’ve read my other posts, you’ve most likely also noticed a couple of things about me, too.  Like the fact that I’m bad at planning. Really bad at planning. The thing is that I know how to plan. I just need  to sit down and actually put my money where my mouth is.

My first goal then, which isn’t so much of a December goal, but a goal for this blog, is to sit down, write out, and plan a couple goals at the beginning of every month. That way, a year from now, I will be that much less average than what I happen to be right now.

1. Make two blog posts a week

This blog is a very special new beginning for me. Because it’s just launched, I thought it would be appropriate to set this goal for myself, as well as let you know when to expect new posts.

My first december goal is to get myself into the routine of creating posts bi-weekly (the two times a week sort of bi-weekly, I mean).

This should be easy. That gives me about three and a half days to write a post. With the time I spend waffling around on pinterest, though, who knows?

2. Work out at least four times a week

This month I won’t really be giving myself any eating goals, like I imagine I will throughout the months to come. The reason for this is that Christmas is coming, and I don’t want to rob myself of all the deliciousness that comes with it.

I am also currently trying to eat healthy anyways, so I’ll try and keep that up as best as I can.

I once heard a saying that goes “It isn’t what you do between Christmas and New Year’s. It’s what you do between New Year’s and Christmas.” I like that saying a lot, mostly because it gives me a free pass.

But I would like to work out at least four times a week while i commit horrible debaucheries on my intestines. The worst thing I could do for myself would be let my muscles atrophy while also shoving gingerbread cookies in my cookie hole.

I plan to do this over my lunch breaks (I get two or three a week) and working out either saturday, or saturday and sunday depending on how many lunches I have off.

3. Somehow survive this holiday season with my wallet intact.

I’m kidding. Or am I?

This is a pretty niche goal as it doesn’t have to do with something that I’m always working towards. I am always working to be more financially smart, but I’m not usually buying gifts for people anymore, like I mentioned in my post “Why I’m broke despite having a well-paying job”

As a wannabe-minimalist, I would like to place a focus on being with friends and family this Christmas.

There are some people who will expect gifts, and I will get some things for people, but I would like these holidays to be less about getting things and more about spreading the love.

Okay, Hippie rant over.

4.  Actually participate in holiday festivities.

I never really get myself into the Holiday spirit before Christmas is actually here.

I want to make a gingerbread house, and make a snowman. I want to have a snowball fight, and drink hot chocolate by the fire. And you know I’ll be listening to Elvis Presley: The Classic Christmas Album until I’m sick to death of it.

I want these Holidays to be memorable. They’re my first as an adult who doesn’t live at home, and the first I have with my boyfriend. I want them to be special this year.

Are you sick of the cheese here yet? Good, me too.

If you stuck around this long, thank you! I really appreciate it. I hope it inspires you to make a list of goals to complete this December, too. Even a month from now, if you put your mind towards your goals, you’ll be that much closer to leading the life you want to.

I really hope you enjoy yourself this Holiday season, and if I stick to my goals, I’ll be seeing you around real soon!

Why I’m Broke Despite Having a Well-Paying Job

I’ve been dreaming of traveling around the world. Finding the hidden oases in Thailand, walking down the streets of Japan, that’s where I want to be. Anyone else have a major ocean craving? I know I do.

So what is keeping me from acting on my wanderlust? Money.

Now, I consider myself to be pretty well off in terms of money.

First of all, my parents are very well off, courtesy of their own hard work, so it’s not like I’m ever going to starve. Also, I have a well paying (for my age and qualifications), full time job.

I’ve been lucky enough to move out with a roommate at nineteen years old, and I pay my own bills.

So the purpose of this post isn’t to convince you that I’m poor, I certainly am not. I’m just here to rip into my bad spending habits and tell you why I’m terrible at saving money.

There’s the question of the day. Why am I terrible at saving money?

1. I love to shop

You heard it here first, folks. I am an impulse buyer. I buy snacks, makeup, and home decor on a whim. I fall prey to expensive subscription boxes, full of things (or, god forbid, food) that I absolutely don’t need.

Have you ever heard of online shopping? I have, and it’s the worst thing that I’ve ever discovered how to do.

The fix? My boyfriend had the bright idea of leaving his debit card out of his wallet. That’s it. He took some money out of the bank so he could buy only a certain amount worth of things, and that’s his spending money for the month.

I should take it a step further and deactivate my card from sites like paypal and doordash, but I like how simple of a fix it is.

2. I eat out a ton

I’ve always been really quick to spend a ton of money on food. I guess I think it’s worth it because, y’know, I need to eat to live.

Those ten dollar meals are really starting to add up, especially when you’re eating out as much as I do.

There are so many other factors to food, too, like sometimes I’m not just spending ten dollars a meal. Sometimes it’s closer to twenty-five. I know I said that I’m pretty well off, but I most certainly should not be spending close to two hundred dollars a week by eating out. That’s just a no no.

I know I touched on this a lot in my The 3 choices I make that make me feel fat post, but I order delivery a lot. Especially now that there are pick-up companies that can deliver food from wherever your heart desires.

I mention in that post that applications charge you more for the food you’re eating, to support their business (and I know from experience in the industry that some restaurants are charging more on skip the dishes to help off-set the amount of revenue apps take per order).

3. I spend a lot on other people

My language of love is spending on people, and I really hate it.

Put yourself in my shoes for a moment, though. I’m a nineteen year old with a well paying job, and a lot of my friends are in minimum wage jobs. Some of them even work part time because the jobs they can find don’t have the hours they need.

I’ll help out by paying for their dinner, buying them little things that make me think of them, stuff like that.

The problem with that kind of love language is that I start to feel more and more upset when people take and take and never give. I’m thinking it too; “Regan, that doesn’t even make any sense! They never even asked for the things you offered to pay for.” I know, I agree!

I shouldn’t feel upset that they aren’t reciprocating, because they show that they care in other ways. I always seem to feel like it wouldn’t be hard to do the bare minimum, though, like an iced coffee one in a while.

Its horrible, but I’m only human!

So what’s the fix?

Budgeting.

This won’t blow your mind, because if you’re around my age you probably didn’t get a budgeting class either, but we had one class in grade ten that had a section focusing on managing your money.

So all the information on managing money I have is “save enough that you can pay your bills”.

That’s how I’ve been going about it: I pay my bills at the beginning of the month, and whatever I have leftover, I spend on whatever the heck I want.

I want to change this by budgeting. I put together my very own excel sheet, and as I go, I’ll add to it and subtract from it.

Currently, I have no idea how much I spend a month on groceries, transportation, and the like, so as I gather receipts I’ll be able to put that info together for myself.

Meal Planning & Making My Own Food.

I’ve discovered this week, during my first time meal planning and prepping ever, that you need a lot of food to even get you through the week. I went and got tons of food two days ago, and I still need to go back out and buy myself peas for my fried rice tonight.

In the end, spending 100$ a week on food is much cheaper than spending ten or twenty dollars every meal (even more, including delivery).

The moral of the story is that eating out isn’t good for me in any sort of way. It should be saved for special occasions, and I want eating out to feel like a privilege again. I want it to feel special again, and in order to do that, I must stop eating out.

Be selfish.

Of course I’ll still spend money on my friends every once in a while. Birthday presents and Christmas presents are a must.

But I’m not going to pay for things for them willy-nilly anymore.

I work hard for my money and if I want to spend money on other people, I’ll donate to charity from now on. And, that said, I’m not really rich enough to be spending as much as I do on friends either.

I’m still learning.

In the end, I need to implement better saving skills if I want to be able to fund my passions, travel as much as I want to, and (if I make it that far) retire. I also need to save for an emergency fund, because life happens. If my car breaks down, I’m going to need a lot more money than I have right now to fix it.

And there are probably many more strategies that I don’t even know about (look back at the part where I told you I had one class dedicated to budgeting that took about a week to complete).

I also want to be in a position where I’m never worried, or waiting for my next paycheck, like I am right now. I want to be strict enough with my spending habits that I’m never nervous about my money situation.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it sure helps.

Do you have any advice on saving money? Did you make any realizations when reading my post? I love hearing from you, so please feel free to share your thoughts!

Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate your time a ton! If you liked what you read, consider giving this a share!

See you next time.

The 3 Keys to Success When it Feels Like You Have No Time

Doesn’t it just feel like there isn’t enough time in the world to get the things you need to get done, done?

I often feel like this, usually when the hanger sets in at work and I don’t know what I’m going to do for supper.

This feeling happens when I think about my future and I have no idea when I’m going to find the time to get started on my dream passion projects, or achieve goals I want to achieve.

I know I’m not the only one who has the same problem.

There’s only six that I have after work to get everything I need to get done, if I want to get enough sleep to function the next day.

If you’re anything like me, you know that you’re going to want to spend that six hours laying in bed, watching Game of Thrones, or scrolling through Instagram’s ‘for you’ page (I can get sucked into that page for hours).

The thing is, I know I should be getting my workout in. I know I should be meal planning, and working out, and writing for my blog. There’s really something about an 8-5 day that takes it out of you.

So when you’re about ready to throw in the towel, what do you do?

1. Narrow down what is important to you

You may have read my about page, and you can even see the “about” section in my sidebar.

Anyone can see that I want to be an activist, a health nut, a traveller, etc. I want things even beyond that list.

I can’t do everything. I’m barely hanging on doing what I’m doing now.

The key, then, is to break it down. Focus on one or two things at a time. I don’t have all the time in the world, so I’ve got to give myself some time to get used to habits that I want to introduce into my life.

Say you want to be healthy like me. You have to give yourself time to meal plan (a lot, as I’ve discovered this past weekend). Give yourself time to figure out a process that works well for you. Figure out what works and what doesn’t.

Then, let it become a habit before trying to introduce something new into your life.

Another example is trying to reduce waste.

It’s going to take time to train your mind to remember that you need to bring the reusable cutlery packets every time you want to go out for fast food (and also to remember to ask them not to put cutlery in your doggy bag)

It’s going to take time to figure out which composting option works for you, and which items you can and can’t recycle.

Everything takes time, and seeing as how I don’t have a lot, using mine to really focus on getting a habit ingrained and down pat is essential.

I show you an example of narrowing down what’s Important to me in the first of my Monthly Goals Series.

2. Set time apart to work on what matters

It’s so easy to get sucked into other things that aren’t important. Have you ever found yourself twenty videos deep into a youtube page about whether a cat likes this or that food better?

I have.

When it’s time to go to bed, and I’ve done nothing but binge Riverdale on Netflix for the third time in a row, I’m left with a feeling of dissatisfaction.

Life starts to seem like an endless loop. Wake up, go to work, eat, couch potato, sleep. Repeat.

The dreamer in me wants so much more.

So how do I cut lazy time out of my life?

Taking time out of your day to do specific things. Saying to yourself “from six to seven, I’ll work out.” and acting on it. Set it as an alarm in your phone, put it in your daily calendar, and do it.

Have the necessary items already easily accessible to you so its not a chore to do what you already don’t feel like doing. Trust me, it’s so much easier to work out when my shoes, clothes, and water bottle are already in my workout bag. That means I just have to grab it and go.

And if all else fails, please remember; five minutes is more than nothing. Ten minutes is more than nothing.

Do you feel like you have absolutely no time to work on what you should be? Put five, ten, fifteen minutes on your clock. Set it and use that time to really buckle down and do what you should be.

Doing breeds motivation, not the other way around. So get to it, and if when that timer goes off and you’re done with it, you got fifteen minutes of work done. That’s the worst that can happen.

3. Plan

I say this so much, but planning is crucial for whatever you’re doing.

Wanna eat healthy? Plan what you’re going to eat. Want to work out? Decide what parts of the body you’ll focus on and what workouts you’ll be doing. Need to write a blog post? Brainstorm what it’ll be about and the points you want to touch on.

I’m terrible at planning. I’m the type of person who has a vision and just goes at it, no plan in place.

And guess what? I usually fail.

It’s really discouraging, especially because I hype myself up about a project, and rush in head first only for it to fail.

Here’s an analogy for you. A carpenter is trying to build a chair. She has all these ideas of interesting designs she wants to mark into the chair, and rushes right into it, head bursting with inspiration. Forty eight hours and one chair later, she’s disappointed with her work. It wasn’t as grandiose as she was hoping, and it’s a little small.

Now here’s the same carpenter, same idea for a beautiful, hand-crafted chair, but she’s sitting at her drafting table, making sure every single detail is to her liking before so much as touching a piece of wood. One week later, and she has a chair that she’s so proud of, and is every bit as captivating as she’d made sure it would be.

This goes for all things. It goes for projects, like chairs, or artworks, or blog posts. It also goes for lifestyle projects, like becoming healthier. Have you ever given up before you even started because you didn’t plan, and couldn’t think of what to do on the spot?

You want better for you. And so do I.

Where could it take you?

I just want you to imagine for a second that you put these keys in the locks. What would your life look like if you opened the door to do what you really want to do?

Could you quit your nine to five? Would you post cute gym pics of your rockin’ bod to instagram? Would you have the peace of mind of someone who’s doing all they can to preserve the beautiful world we live in?

I’m in the same place. For years now, it’s been Netflix and unhealthy snacks and forgotten projects.

But I want to see where life can take me.

I’d love to hear what you think of my strategy when I feel like I don’t have any time. Do you do anything different? I always love hearing new ideas to trick myself into being productive.

I always appreciate a share, and even if you don’t, thank you for reading! See you next time.

The 3 choices I make that make me feel fat (and what I’m doing to fix them)

Recently I bought 10 dollars worth of mini Reese’s for the candy jar at work.

You know, the kind with little M&M type things at the bottom so when you sink your teeth into the delicious, peanut butter-chocolate goodness, there’s a delicious little crunch at the end.

Makes my heart go pitter patter.

I bought them from bulk barn so everyone could enjoying them, but the candy jar is on my desk. And what does that mean? I’ve eaten all but five of the peanut butter cups.

These glorious chocolatey peanut-butter devils demonstrate the overall tone of my eating habits, which currently are: I want. I eat. I mean, I’m eating these suckers right now.

So what have these sweet, delicious, creamy gifts of destruction taught me about myself?

1. I’m buying sugary foods that I can’t stop myself from eating

In other words; if I like it and I’m feeling munchy, I’m gonna eat it.

This is especially a problem for me because I eat when I’m bored. I don’t have to be hungry. In fact, emotional eating makes up a ton of the bad food choices I make.

I’ll be sitting at work and order myself a starbucks mango dragon fruit refresher (which are delicious, and I’m more than a little addicted) when I have my bottle of water right here next to me.

Here’s the problems doing something like that creates for me: I’m spending money I don’t have to, I’m consuming more sugar just because I’m bored, I’m feeding my bad habit, and I’m creating more waste than I have to.

2. I can’t control myself when I’m hungry

I am the worst at doing what’s right for me when I’m hungry. At that point, it’s too late. I’m not going to spend forty-five minutes making myself a well thought out, balanced meal when I’m already hangry. I’m going to reach for the cookies, and the chips, and whatever other processed, pre-packaged foods I can get my grubby little hands on.

Planning my meals shouldn’t be left to the last minute when I’m already hungry, anyways. If you were to ask me at any point this week what I was planning on have for supper, you would receive a reflex-like shrug, accompanied by the very helpful “Idunno”.

3. When people ask me if I want to go out and eat, I’m always down

How did the candies teach you that? Well, my coworkers kept asking me to buy better candies for the bowl. I did myself a favor and kept forgetting for a couple months, until I found myself conveniently located at my local Bulk Barn.

I thought “I’ll pick up a bag of these, they’ll all be happy to get something good!” Let me tell you, a total of two people got to discover that we even had better candies because I kept eating them. They were gone within two days.

I eat out a ton. Thanks to restaurants like Chopped Leaf and Freshii (which I actually worked at for a while, freshii represeeeeent) I feel like I’m not making so many bad decisions as before, but I am unable to resist A&W’s Beyond Meat Burger. If someone asks me if were going to [insert generic restaurant name with maybe two vegetarian options here] I’m always down to go.

My boyfriend and I have gotten better at choosing healthier restaurants (i.e. Chopped Leaf and Freshii) when we do go out, and we’re working on cooking for ourselves more and more.

Food delivery services are also becoming the bane of my existence. Takeout is getting to a new level, and the child in me who has no idea how to take care of herself is living for it.

What do I do when I don’t prepare myself a lunch? I’ll shrug it off and order myself whatever the heck I want on SkipTheDishes.

Does it cost so much extra for delivery? Yup.

Does the food itself cost more because apps are marking up prices to make more profit? Oh yeah.

So am I losing even more money while also sitting here, unmoving, as I wait for food to arrive that I will do nothing to work off? You betcha.

Do you see my problem here?

So what am I going to do to help myself?

Since emotional eating could be considered a bad habit, I have to start breaking the chain. This week it’s already getting easier to say to myself “Regan, you already have water right next to you. It’s actually right there.

Making the decision to buy myself healthier snacks to have on hand for when I’m munching is also something I can do. Twenty chocolate kisses can do some damage, but twenty snap peas are nothing. Heck, I could have one hundred snap peas. They still wouldn’t do me nearly as dirty as the chocolate kisses would.

Using alternatives to distract myself like writing, drawing, reading, and especially blogging give my mind something to work on, so I can keep myself from bored eating like I love to.

The solution to my second and third problems are much the same; MEAL PLANNING.

I am terrible at meal planning. Planning and preparing my meals on sunday has been on my to-do list for months, and I know that it would make my life so much easier.

I’m never that keen on sacrificing one of my days off to work, but I’ve never tried it, either.

Having a day that I put some music on and chop all my vegetables for the week might be kinds nice, and would definitely be more productive than what I do with my sundays now. Planning ahead makes me much more likely to make good choices for myself.

Not having to make hangry decisions means I can choose foods to properly fuel my body to do all the amazing things it does.

In conclusion…

Even though I felt like a horrible little gremlin after eating twenty peanut butter cups, they’ve really solidified for me what I do and don’t want to do to my body.

I believe that if you’re being conscious about your health and doing the best you can for yourself, any size is healthy and beautiful.

Although I know I’m not actually fat, I make lots of decisions that make me go “Oh, that’s not good for my body. I’m not taking care of it like I should.”

Realizing that makes me feel gross. I only have one body, of course I want to do the best I can for it. Realizations like this, then, need to happen.

Because I’m the only me I’ve got, and I want the best for me.

Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your solutions for problems you have when trying to be the healthiest you can be. 

Also, if you liked this, I’d love it if you could give it a share. If not, I still appreciate you!